RSS

Tag Archives: thesis

Fighting Procrastinations and Setbacks

As the title suggest, I am fighting… fighting hard. However, failing miserably. This goes back to my self defeating attitude and feelings of inadequacies. I am just not motivated. I am so bogged down from everything this quarter that I am losing motivation. Fighting…Fighting hard to finish school.

What I am really saying is that I am scared… scared to succeed. This happens every time I am close to achieving my goals… I get so scared that I self-sabotage. Why do I do this to myself? Why am I afraid of success? How can I change this behavior?

This behavior has prevented me from truly reaching my potential, from committing to meaningful projects, and from my goals. I say NO MORE!! I am fighting to keep it together and to fight pass this lack of “motivation.” Really look my fear in the face and say, you don’t win, I do.

I missed my Wednesday deadline of constantly writing… but I still manage to write before the end of the week…. baby steps. I need to continue to write something, anything, to stay writing and motivated. The thesis writing is not coming along and I am getting frustrated with myself about it. I need to stop thinking about it and just write. I need to organized this focus group and just write. I can do this. I just need to stay focus and strong. And completely kick fear’s ass!  Next week, final interview. Goals for this weekend: 1) review interview questions 2) review thesis statement 3) complete a writing schedule for thesis

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 5, 2016 in Grad School, Thesis Building, Writing

 

Tags: , , , ,

Performing Arts vs. Museums

I feel like there has been a constant battle between performing arts and museums. Although we fight the same battles and respect each others sectors, there is still a divide.

Since starting my new position, I have found great joy working in the performing arts field. I found that I have a renewed passion for the arts and life. However, this poses a slight conflict because I am still fond of museums. My thesis is on museums, specifically culture-based museums. With this feeling of confliction, I am struggling with writing and researching. I am still working at the American Swedish Historical Museum with cut back hours. I really love this place; however, since starting my new position and the cut of hours, I feel that I am not growing in the position. But I don’t want to quit… It’s a conflict.

As I near the completion of making up my assignments from my horrendous semester, I am still interested in my thesis; however, I can’t help but wonder about a different topic. Upon my readings and direct personal experience, I started thinking about art education. Originally, I did want to focus on art education and diversity as a potential thesis topic, but I felt I couldn’t develop this thesis beyond this phase.

Even now, I am still struggling with how to make the topic of art education relevant to administrators and interesting. Although it is not too late to change, I am still very interested in my topic of culture-based museums. I guess my real struggle is whether I want to continue a career in museums.

Since junior year of college, I have wanted to work in museums. It took me a long time to find something that I enjoyed and could have a rewarding career. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my major and still wanted to attend law school after college. However, I just knew that wouldn’t have made be happy. Museums made me happy. Understanding the ins and outs of an institution that are both visually and sensory hubs of nontraditional concepts of education was what I wanted as a career. Even as I write this I am still battling. I love museums; but at this time I just can’t see myself working in one. For now, maybe I am meant to work in the performing arts and I should stop being dramatic… I love change. It helps me feel like I am growing and I love that this is not the end of my growth. Who knows I might end up going to law school after all.

I just wanted to share some of my thoughts as I continue to work through school and life. But I am excited to be back on track!!! Until next time.

 
 

Tags: , , , ,

It has been a long time…

Hey everybody! Sorry that it has been a long time! I was super busy with school, work, and my personal life. I just wrapped up the summer session on 9/2/14 (precisely this morning a 2:30 am). The fall quarter starts on 9/22/14, so I have a little break… Sorta. Remember that annoying perquisites I needed to take before the financial art accounting course, well I just started that today(9/3/14). I just hope I can get through this class, I am not great at math, but we’ll see.

Anyhoo, I have officially completed one year of grad school!!! Omg!! Yay me!! Now on to the hard parts, thesis. About two weeks ago I had a “pre-advising” session with one of the advisors and the professor for my seminar class this fall. I informed him of my topic and he was delighted and encourage me to pre-research prior to class. This was a huge ego boost and I definitely feel that I have grown since starting this program. I will do a separate post on my thesis process and topic later. Trying to focus on starting this class, accounting. I am going to try to do better with updates and topics for this blog. I just want to Thank you guys for your continued support!!! Good luck!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 3, 2014 in Grad School, Thesis Building, Writing

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Half way Done the 1st Year!!!

Wow!! Half way done… the first year of Grad School. It’s been super stressful but rewarding. I am happy to being doing something that I am passionate about and genuinely excited about. I have improved from my previous semester/quarter. I have gotten better with the discussion board. I have learned that I need to respond to something regardless because this most of my grade. I was very sick this semester but I managed to get an A- in my Management Techniques Class and still awaiting a grade for my Fund Development Class. In the Fund Development class my final paper was on L3C which is super interesting and under used in the art sector. I think this paper is the start of my thesis. I am still mulling over information and a data but I building more and more research. During the paper, I was able to attend on March 20, 2014, Risk-taking and Entrepreneurship in Museums: a Conversation, hosted by the Museum Council of Philadelphia and the Delaware Valley. The conversation featured three faculty members, Danielle Rice, Neville Vakharia, and Derek Gillman, from the Arts Administration and Museum Leadership departments at Drexel University. The conversation discussed how museum can be financial viable and stay relevant in the 21st century. This is something that remains to be a trend in each class I take. Sustainability and Diversity are topics I seemed to be stuck on. I am excited to see how things will eventually develop. One of the things I need to work on is time management and pacing. I felt so drained by the in of the semester. The last two weeks of the semester seemed to be awful and were the most stressful. I caused most of the stress due to poor time management and lack of motivation.

My goal from the next and future semester is to stay positive, stay focus, time management effectively, and complete easy task sooner. But so far so good!! Super Happy the semester is over!!!

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

OH WOW!!! It’s 2014!!

WOW!!! It’s 2014!!! Back to the Future II was based on Marty returning to 2015…. CRAZY!!! One more year and still no flying cars, no trash powered vehicles, or hover boards!!!!! But we still have one more year! so let’s see what happens..

Classes for winter semester starts on 1/6/14. Super excited and terrified at the same time. I just received an email from my professor of one class, which included the syllabus. I have a lot of reading to do! This is why I wanted to write this post because it will probably be a long time before my next one. This year, I plan to make changes both internally and externally. Time to stop being so negative and pessimistic. I am not going to go into detail on my transformation but… this is my year! 🙂

As was discussed in November 2013, black feminism and self-confidence are topics that I would like to explore this year. I think that art evoke and inspired these topics. I think there is a debate brewing; however, no one is ready to explore it. I will attempt to get the conversation started.

This is an introduction to these topics. I will also try to find the interconnections to art as well as tackle the taboo subjects these topics. I guess this also another commentary of my feelings on, what is art? and how art is deemed art? This new segment will embark on the perception of art. Last semester in my overview class, we discussion art perception and how that affects funding for the arts. In this segment, I want to explore art and its effect on society. Thus, hopefully, connecting the above topics of black feminism and self-confidence and art… we will see.

In the meantime, I hope (seriously hope) that I am able to read the following books by the end of 2014. Here is my list:

Divided Sisters: Bridging the Gap Between Black Women and White Women

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment

Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America

At Knit’s End: Mediation for Women Who Knit Too Much

Curtsies and Conspiracies

I kept the reading light because of school. I plan to really read and study a lot. Who knows, with this research/readings, will, perhaps, develop my methodology and thesis. Who knows!

Why am I so interested in this topic? Why wouldn’t I be! The whole point of this blog is to explore the lack of diversity in the art world. I started this blog to detail my journey into this world that at times feels exclusives and unattainable. Although, starting my program in 2013, there was a great number of black females in my class, more than I expected, especially when I false started in 2010, there were only three (this includes me). How many will make it? Only time will tell. More importantly over three years, there was an increase in the community that this profession (art management, registrar, curators, etc) is viable and an option in the art world. However, we still have a long ways to go, only one black male in the class and this is a graduate program. Ideally, I would like high school students who are interested in art, but do not want to be creators, have the information about other position that are in this field. In hindsight, I think I am going to explore this as a thesis topic, possible book (maybe too presumptuous), of diversity in art management or diversity across the spectrum of art. Hum…

Anyhoo, what are your plans or goals for 2014? 2014!!! OMG!! Crazy… Sorry, I am an 80s baby and 90s kid; this is flipping me out that I am here in the year 2014!! Who knew! Anyhoo, good luck everyone with this year’s endeavors! I will try to write often and explore the topics above. In the meantime check out some suggested reading list on black feminism:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyford/13-must-reads-for-the-black-feminist

http://www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-perry/the-mhp-black-feminism-syllabus

Happy New Year!!! 🙂

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 4, 2014 in Art History, Black Females, Grad School, Writing

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

School is Hard!!!

I knew school was going to be hard, I just didn’t realize how much. I think it a combination of things. It’s the fact  thatI have been out of school for five years and work two jobs. I am just tired.

I always enjoyed the classroom setting; however, the convenience of having things online are phenomenonal. I think I would just collapse from exhaustion if I had to attend class on campus. I am still trying to find the balance of working online and getting things competed in a timely matter.

Grad school can be intimidating due to the shortness of the program and the intensity of the subject. I am already thinking about my thesis, internship, and experiment. I am going to be doing a lot of early brainstorming to complete this program. My goal for this long weekend is to work out my scheduling for the rest of the program ( email that for review to advisor), work on fellowship applications, and complete my assignments for the week… So much reading. I feel like I am just reading and then not completely reading just due to time… It’s definitely a challenge.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on October 12, 2013 in Grad School, Grants, Scholarships, Writing

 

Tags: , , ,