As the title suggest, I am fighting… fighting hard. However, failing miserably. This goes back to my self defeating attitude and feelings of inadequacies. I am just not motivated. I am so bogged down from everything this quarter that I am losing motivation. Fighting…Fighting hard to finish school.
What I am really saying is that I am scared… scared to succeed. This happens every time I am close to achieving my goals… I get so scared that I self-sabotage. Why do I do this to myself? Why am I afraid of success? How can I change this behavior?
This behavior has prevented me from truly reaching my potential, from committing to meaningful projects, and from my goals. I say NO MORE!! I am fighting to keep it together and to fight pass this lack of “motivation.” Really look my fear in the face and say, you don’t win, I do.
I missed my Wednesday deadline of constantly writing… but I still manage to write before the end of the week…. baby steps. I need to continue to write something, anything, to stay writing and motivated. The thesis writing is not coming along and I am getting frustrated with myself about it. I need to stop thinking about it and just write. I need to organized this focus group and just write. I can do this. I just need to stay focus and strong. And completely kick fear’s ass! Next week, final interview. Goals for this weekend: 1) review interview questions 2) review thesis statement 3) complete a writing schedule for thesis