I am finished the first semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t do too bad either, two B’s (3.00 GPA), but I could have done better. I am not going to be too hard on myself… it has been five years since I have been in school. But I did learn and take note of my mistakes and successes. Next semester, I am going to really make an effort to manage my time better. Also, I need to become more engaged in my college and searching for opportunities to expanded my knowledge in the field. I also need to focus on picking a topic for my thesis and starting the research process. I have a couple of ideas: Diversity (academic and museums) or something with folk art/ outsider art. Hopefully, I will have it narrowed down some before next year (Fall 2014) entering into this phrase.
Beside the things I need to accomplish academically, I also need to work on my own personal perceptions. One of my battles is lack of confidence. I think I self sabotaged throughout this semester (and life, really), because the lack of confidence I have in myself. It is something, I have battled with my entire life. Am I good enough?
This is one of those environmental/societal issues. Example, the controversy behind Black Girls Rock, many people, both black and white, felt that this program is discriminatory against white girls (or other races). The criticism became ugly when a hash tag #White Girls Rock on the internet was becoming the rage. All women rock! However, this was a response against the organization, which was founded to provided black girls with strong positive role-models and to insure their worth in society. The founder, Beverly Bond, provided an excellent response to the negativity. Read it here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/11/whitegirlsrock-beverly-bond-response_n_4426757.html or do a Google search for the full response. I appreciated her response but that is an issues. To be proud of who you are, is not acceptable in this society. Here we are in 2013 about to enter into 2014 and we are still talking, discussing, and exploring this concept of race. As a female and a Black person, I have to battle two stigmas and somehow overcome all adversity to feel confident, to feel that I deserve to be here!
This is one of the many things that I will continue to work on. Although this is an environmental/societal issues, this is also an internal issue. I need to, I guess, reclaim or recognize my own worth. I need to know that I am good enough and deserve to be here! I want to be able to feel confident even in my unsure moments. But, first thing is first, acceptance! Accepting myself for who I am and who I am going to be! But I finish one semester of Grad School and I am so grateful!! YAY!! I did it!! or Made it!!!