Trying out a new thing. I downloaded word press app on my phone about two years ago and rarely use it. I am going to start using it more for this blog. I think it will help and motivate me to stay on track. So as the title suggest, my motivation has been an ongoing issue for most of my life. I feel like I can be bogged down due to sudden lacks of interest or laziness. I am trying to work on my flaw/self-motivation, thus the creation of this blog as well as my second blog, leftyknits.
The issue of self-motivation came up when I ran into a friend/colleague who asked about my grad school ambitions. I gave her a brief overview of everything as well as my ambitions to become a curator. However, during our conversation, I couldn’t help but wonder about my efforts on getting funding and starting research. I also began to question my busy schedule with a full-time and part-time job, two active blogs, moving with my boyfriend, and focusing on starting grad school full-time. Have I bitten off too much to chew! A normal person would probably say you’re crazy and need to simplify/prioritize. However, I am not the average person.
I have continued throughout my life to fit into a box or to be more like other people (in regards to education and employment). I always had the notion that I need and want to do something that I was passionate about, one thing. But as I grow wiser (older.. Lol) I have learned that I am passionate about a lot of things and want to explore different things. Another epiphany happened over the course the week and with the conversation. I realize in my quest of getting in… that I don’t have to stay in one box that I can be proficient at many things. I have learned that I accept my sometimes scattered brain, meticulous, over achiever, multi talented, self. I realized that life has no rules and I can choose my own path and determine my own level of what is deemed successful. I know, all this from one conversation. (Really :))
Anyhoo, I am going to continue to push myself and embrace my many passions. Besides my conversation I started a new book (I have not forgotten about my other books… They are packed away and I am not digging for them. Lol) and it’s not art history or fine art related (per say), it’s about my other passion music. The book is called What are you doing here? A Black Woman’s Life and Liberation in Heavy Metal by Laina Dawes. So far this book is awesome. I am glad this book was written. I wish I had something like this growing up. Although the book is good and very well written/researched, doesn’t really live up to my expectations. What I mean by expectation is from a research academic prospective she doesn’t offer anything new as well as in insight on the research out there. My other issue with book is the lumping of genres and the lack of outreach to Black metal females (there are a lot). I feel like she makes her opinions and take research from a very limited pool. But I am only half way through the book and that could all change. So far, I love this book. I definitely recommend picking it up (regardless of race, class, or gender). Before buying this book, I was approached by a fellow black female rocker to write about my experience for a magazine, that she is starting. She is uncertain about whether or not it is going to be regularly syndicated. So of course, I have been procrastinating (probably not a word) and not really focus… Then the book came in the mail and got me excited about writing this piece. I already outline it… Just need to find the words. I plan to work on this piece on Sunday and submit it by Monday I’ll present the final draft on the blog once it’s done… I think, instead I do a blurb not the whole thing due to the uncertainty.